Monday, December 12, 2011
Are robots real?
For the record, Manny is dressed as baby Indiana Jones.
The kids went to preschool today and I spent a few minutes of that time pushing my friend's twins around the neighborhood so those rascally babies would go to sleep . Her babies were born in July, just like Glory and Elena, so it takes me back to their first Christmas. That was right around the time when my mornings included getting the kids ready to go outside, which required a tremendous amount of will and about a full hour of work, what with diaper changers and feedings and redressing Manny who had managed to undress himself while I dressed someone else, to walk to Caffe Fiore so that I could make a scene pushing my double jogging stroller through the narrow door, pick up a latte and a biscotti, turn right around and come home in time to cry at least partially through the day's episode of Mister Roger's Neighborhood. What can I say? He liked me just the way I was and he could change his own sweater and put on his own shoes.
My friend was having a hard day because her babies did not sleep in the night and they were not sleeping in the day. Having babies will do that to you and having twins will do that to you and then kick you in the gut while poking you in the eye. I hope tomorrow is a better day for her.
On the way home from preschool, we stopped for a man to use the crosswalk. Elena decided he was a plumber. I went on and on about all the different things he could be. Maybe a plumber, but maybe a waiter, maybe a doctor, maybe a musician.
"No, he looks like the plumber," she said.
I remembered the kids had been at a Green Canopy house when a plumber, who looked nothing like this man, was there to work on the sewer line.
"The one that's getting married?" Manny asked. "The one that's going to be a daddy?"
Everyone murmured their agreement.
"WOW! He's going to be a plumber and a daddy!" Elena exclaimed.
"He's going to rock the world!" Manny shouted.
Later, I invited the kids to do my new workout DVD. We went through a scary period where they were all lifting the hand weights above their heads and dropping them on the floor before I convinced them hand weights are for grown ups and that they needed to select some toys that would do the job. Manny did the entire DVD pumping a full-size rainbow wooden xylophone.
The workout is 24 minutes long and awesome. Like all good workouts, if I stick with it, I might make it back into that expensive pair of jeans I bought last year a few days after we all had the stomach flu. For the record, never buy fitted clothes a few days after your whole family has the stomach flu. You are flattering yourself! You will never wear those jeans again! Unless, of course, you buy this amazing DVD and do it alongside your children who hop up and down the whole workout in their underwear.
(If you see me wearing new jeans, but I never sit down, you know I did the DVD enough times to affix the button, but not enough times to bend my legs.)
In the middle of the leg lunges while doing bicep curls (brilliant move!), Elena asked me from the elliptical trainer, "How did Jesus make me a baby?"
"Not now! Can't talk!" I cried, trying not to fall over.
"How did Jesus make me a baby?" she persisted.
I ignored her.
"I want Jesus to be in my tummy!" Elena declared.
Before I could respond to that, Manny said, between reps with the xylophone, "When you grow up, you can get a baby in your tummy and name him Jesus."
That satisfied Elena, but almost ruined the rest of my workout. It is very hard to stay upright doing lunges when you are trying not to laugh hysterically.
At bedtime, the kids all took a link off of their Christmas paper chain they made at school today. The note on their paper chain had a little poem that suggested the link be removed after saying prayers. That's a good idea, I thought. Let's try to pray. Praying often goes sideways and results in a cacophony of arguments that is not conducive to a sleepy atmosphere, but it's Advent, and we had just read that poem on the paper chain, so I decided to give it a go.
I asked Glory if she wanted to thank God for anything or ask God for help with anything.
"I want God to help with the bad guy," she said.
I asked Elena if she wanted to thank God or ask God for help.
"I want God to shoot all the people with an arrow. No. A sword! And cut them in half! And then the robots will eat them!! Daddy, are robots real?" Then she lifted her nightgown over her head. "Tickle ME!" she demanded.
I didn't bother asking Manny what he had to contribute.
Now they are asleep and I can't remember the last time I went to the bathroom. Sometimes the next steps in life are so clear.